Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Fifteen

Today, I have been married for fifteen years.  FIFTEEN!  Wow, that's a lot of years. I know it sounds cliche' but it has flown by so quickly.

I am able to remember bits and pieces of the day we got married.  It was a hot July day.  We were going to the courthouse to get married. The only people there with us were our parents.  We were trying to keep it nice and simple so we didn't have any siblings with us because once you invite one, you risk the chance at upsetting someone.

I remember driving there and Chuck being very quiet.  The radio was on, he was looking straight ahead with no real expression on his face.  I kept asking him if he was okay.  He kept saying he was.  We were in the building waiting for our turn and we were all joking, laughing and calm. When we went in the room, the judge was very nice and explained a few things and then got on with the "ceremony."  He talked so fast that at times, I was so busy trying to concentrate on what he was saying.  Then, it was over.  We took some pictures outside and that was that.  We were done.

We then went to lunch with our parents.  We went to a local hall to start setting up for our reception which was the following day.  We threw the biggest party ever.  So many people came, I'm pretty sure we exceeded the limit for the fire code occupancy!  People came and went and had such a blast.  It was a true celebration to kick off our marriage.  Family members still talk about that day as if it were yesterday and about what a good time they had.

For me, that day was a never-ending day.  I was five months pregnant and I got up probably around 6am.  We didn't get home until 24 hours later!!  We were busy all day, had the reception, cleaned up, went to a friend's house and then out to eat for breakfast.  We partied hard....well, everyone else partied hard.  I watched.  It was a memory I'll never forget.

I posted on Facebook, the realities of marriage.  I think there is a huge misconception that as you are married longer, things get easier.  So not the case.  At least not for us.  Yes, some things have gotten easier, you know what sets the other person off, you know their likes and dislikes, you know their personality. However, people change. You can't turn 35 and be the same exact person you were at 20 years old. It is natural for people to evolve and grow as they get older.  The test of marriage is whether your can change, evolve and grow together or not.  Will those changes break your relationship.

I've noticed over the past two years how much Chuck and I have changed.  There have been a lot of changes.  Some days, we really butt heads and I wonder if there is still a common ground. Other days, we are so in sync that I wonder why I ever doubted us.  It's the ebb and flow of life, really.

 I believe that this is what life is all about when you are married.  You are still finding out, fifteen years later, who  your partner is.  You find that there are new reasons that you love them, respect them and want to be with them.  Your heart swells from things that you didn't know about them all those years ago, because they have evolved into who they are today.

Is our life all that different from how it was fifteen years ago?  We are now a family of five, we have three dogs, a cat, different jobs and a happy home.  Yes, it is different, but I'd take this version of our lives over our lives then, any day.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

A Phone Interview With Comedian, Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias

Yesterday, I had the chance to take part in a phone interview with a famous comedian! If you don't know who Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias is, you need to click on his name to see him. He is so funny and a clean comedian who isn't full of profanity.


It was a great opportunity and a fun project for me.  I really enjoyed spending that time on the phone with him and learning a little more about him, as a person and about his shows.  He was a very down to earth guy and just very genuine.  The conversation wasn't full of self promotion as you might think since he has a new movie coming to theaters in three days.

It was a small group phone conversation with a few other mom bloggers and we were able to ask him some questions to get to know him a little better.

Here is a recap of the interview:

Q: Describe yourself in three words.
A: Approachable, happy guy.
Q: Who are your favorite comedians?
A: Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams, Bill Maher, Jim Jeffries, Chris Rock, Dennis Miller (although Iglesias isn't considered an edgy comedian, he does enjoy those that are.)
Q: Why should everyone go see your new movie, Fluffy?
A: It is a non rated R comedy show that centers around family and relationships, it is very relatable and you can even take the kids.
Q: What is your best parenting advice?
A:  Embarrass your kids, it can be more effective than hitting or abusing your child.  No child wants to be embarrassed in front of their friends!
Q:  How has parenthood changed you?
A:  I have grown up a lot and I've learned to appreciate things more.
Q:  Do you find it hard to balance family and your career with this huge tour going on?*
A:  My family almost fell apart. The tour is so involved and it takes a lot of work.  We were arguing and I finally had to say, "just give me until the movie is out and then I will be home and I am all yours again." 
Q: Is it important to you that your movie be non R-rated?
A:   I am generally a clean comedian so I just had to eliminate two swear words to make it PG-13.  Those cuss words weren't necessary.
Q:  Are you now gearing toward more family friendly roles?
A:  I would like to do more work relating to families and parents. I enjoy the voice over work a lot, it's fun and a lot easier.
          Q: Are your shows scripted or do you just get up there and go?*
A:  They are not scripted, I do free flow and I don't write anything down.  I record all my shows so that I can sit down and see which things worked and which ones didn't.  If something worked, I will use it again.  If it doesn't work, I will toss it from my show. The movie, Fluffy, is a longer more involved show so that one I worked on for almost a year. 
Q: What advice would you give to someone thinking about breaking into the comedy world?*
A:  Go for it but you must sacrifice, don't cuss, the less you cuss, the less there is a chance of upsetting people and try to keep it relatable to the audience. 
Q:  If you were not a comedian, what would you be?
A:  A teacher.
Q: What is your favorite venue to perform?
A:  The Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach. It is smaller and a great place to try out material.
Q:  How do you deal with pressure to make people laugh?
A:  Now I walk out to cheers and applause, there's less pressure now.  In the beginning, I was so nervous and they laughed.  Now it is very surreal, I feel like sometimes they are just so excited that they would laugh at anything I say.  
Q: What does your mom think of your shows?*
A: His mom was the one that told him he wasn't fat, he was fluffy so that is how the whole name came about, he told this in his shows and people started calling him Fluffy.  She didn't really like that people were calling him Fluffy as a name.  She would laugh but maybe because she felt she needed to be laughing when everyone else was laughing.  Of course she loved his shows, she's mom!
Q: What do you like to do during your time off?
A:  I love going to the movies with my family, bowling, Dave and Busters and staying in at home with my 3 dogs.  I have three chihuahuas.  
Q:  What is one thing that people will take away from your new film, Fluffy?
A:  It is more emotional and full of inspiration than you would think.  People go in thinking it is just a comedy but they come out and are moved by the story. 

* These are questions that I asked him.

As you can see, he really allowed us to get to know him and about him a lot.  He did crack some jokes in there and had us laughing, but it felt really genuine and natural, not a forced conversation.

I can't wait to see his movie, Fluffy. I'm sure I will be laughing a lot and I can't wait to take away some inspiration.

He did tell us a story about a special toilet but the details are secret, let's just say that we were all laughing and I will be hitting up Google to look up this toilet to check out the features! ;)

A huge thanks to Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias for his time and entertainment.  I really enjoyed this opportunity and it is definitely going in my book of "awesome things I've done in my life!"


Monday, July 21, 2014

Getting Things Going

 A few months ago, I decided to be brave and start a local chapter of the national running group, Moms Run This Town.  It is open to all women (women only, sorry guys!) It's great because it allows for local women to meet up, share in exercise and conversations.  We can choose to bring our kids along to either run or ride in a stroller. You don't even have to be a mom to join the group, either!  You can be a single lady looking for group runs to keep you motivated.  It is a great organization that they started and I am happy to see that the numbers in my chapter are starting to grow.  We now have a group of nine members.


If you are local to me and would like to join, please check out our Facebook page and ask to join! 

You don't have to be a seasoned runner, you don't have to be fast and you don't have to be an exercise guru.  We welcome all ages, all levels of fitness and all abilities.  We would like to start meeting on a regular basis so that we can get the group going.  I am also going to look into maybe seeing if the local running store would like to host us and give us some tips and information on running and maybe introduce us to some running gear that we may not know about. 

Friday, July 11, 2014

Friday Facts: Random Facts About Me

Just trying to mix things up over here and get some fun stuff going.  Here are some random facts about me.....


  • I am totally scatterbrained.  Yeah, I guess you probably could have noticed that by now.  I just have so much going on in my brain that I am always going in ten different directions.  I want to do so much and I just don't know how to execute them all. 

  • I am afraid of failure.  I think this is a trait in everyone but I feel it so much.  I am always thinking of things I want to do in order to start my own business or a side business but I am too afraid of failing and having others look down on me or make fun of me for it, that I don't even get started.  I've had some really good ideas and have watched others succeed at those same things only to feel like a failure for not even trying.  It's a vicious cycle but I'm getting older and I think it's time to start taking chances!

  • I want to help others.  I really feel so much for others in unfortunate situations and I want to help them all.  I would love to make a difference in the lives of others.  I know that there are a ton of organizations and non profits that I can work with to help others, I really need to start volunteering more. 

  • I'm going through a rough time with realizing that my older kids are getting older.  I know most people struggle with their youngest getting older but I am just noticing that I only have a few more years with the older kids before they fly the coop. I touched on this in yesterday's post but it is a daily thought in my mind. 

  • I always plan trips.  I don't ever go on them but I like to plan them and look at hotel and airfare rates and see what it would cost and what we would do on these trips.  It's weird, I know.  I guess I just like to fantasize about traveling the world. Someday I will go on a cruise though! 
Got any random facts about you? 

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Letting Go of Control

I am very much a control freak.  I like things to be organized and orderly and I like to know details.  This is why I usually volunteer to handle things, that way, I know how things will go.  However, I am learning to let go a bit.  I still get a twitch when things aren't explained to me in detail and I want to know what is going on, when and how.

Tonight, Jada is going to be sleeping over at her friend's house so that they can leave early tomorrow morning for a week long trip to the beach. She will be gone for 8 days and it is going to be weird.  She has never been away from home for that long and she has never gone anywhere with a friend for more than two days.  I did get lots of details from the parents so I do feel comfortable about her being with them for that long, I just worry that she will get homesick.  She said she is afraid of the same thing but I'm sure she is going to be having so much fun and she will be at the beach....my most favorite place on earth so I will be spending the week jealous of her!

Next weekend, Chuckie is going to be going away for the entire weekend with one of his coaches for a lacrosse tournament in Niagara Falls, NY.  This will be his first weekend away from us.  I don't know the details yet but I do know that he is in good hands.  He knows everyone on the team and they will be getting the boys together outside of the lacrosse games for swimming and probably a meal or two.  Chuckie has never seen the falls so I am silently struggling with the fact that he gets to see that without us.  He has always wanted to see the falls though so I am happy that he has the chance to go.  We decided to stay back because it is going to save us a large amount of money by just sending him.  I know he will have fun and will be busy with practicing and at least 5-6 games over the weekend.  We expect that he will get back late on Sunday.

So how am I coping with these two things?  I am trying to reassure myself that everything will be okay and they will have fun and they won't miss us too much.  I am starting to show signs of my anxiety coming back but it is only temporary.  Once they are gone, I will be okay.  It is just the time leading up to it all.  It may seem silly to some people that this will bother me but I am always involved in everything my kids do so letting go is not easy for me. Plus, I think part of it is that I want to experience these things with them.

I have been dealing with the fact that my older kids are getting older and more independent.  In a few years, they will be done with high school and moving on with their lives. I know it is a part of life but it is so hard to think that they could move away....even for college or other schooling.  I feel like I am running out of time and I just want to bottle it all up and save it for a lifetime.

I know I need to let go....not totally though.  I am still right there whispering to behave, to mind their manners and to have fun, to use caution, be aware of their surroundings and to take in the moments that make them happy.  I've had fourteen years of those moments and they are all held close to my heart, visions of them as vivid as if they were yesterday.