Friday, July 24, 2015


How do we get so caught up in life?  Time seems so fleeting at moments and when we take the time to stop and really think about what we are doing, I mean really reflect on what we are doing, it can either bring a smile to your face or a deep feeling of regret.

Over the past few years, I have been putting myself at the top of my priorities.  I have read so many times that we need to do that for our own health and well-being. I decided that I was important enough to be my main priority and the rest would fall into place.  I have been so busy finding myself and gaining control of my life again.  I have found out so much about myself and I have gotten stronger as a person.

What I didn't count on was the fact that I would lose focus on my other priorities.  I would say it all the time and I could write it down, but what the hell did that do?  Words are just that, words.  Yes, sometimes words are enough but when it comes to the main priorities in your life, words are not enough.

Life is about so much more.  We have our marriages, our children, our careers, our homes, etc.  There is so much to account for in our lives.  How in the world do we fit it all in and keep a smile on our faces?  It's tough.

I am guilty of not being able to balance it all. I got hit very hard with a dose of truth.  Truth that, honestly, rocked me to my core.  My priorities weren't what they should be.  At least not in action.  On paper, they were but not in my daily life.  I forgot to put others at the top of  my list.  I took for granted the things that mean so much to me. People and things that are the base of who I am.  How did that happen? I got caught up in finding myself and building myself up that I didn't make time to show others what they mean to be, or how important they are to me.  I hurt them.

I have been reading a lot of personal development books to try to come to terms with how I can better myself.  The one I am reading now is by Joel Osteen and there are so many paragraphs and passages that have spoken to me.  I have been highlighting like crazy and in the midst of all of that, I am learning.  I was reading about how if someone is with you but not for you, maybe they shouldn't be in your life.  Meaning, if they are not helping you, encouraging you, or by your side; maybe  you should cast them aside and move on.  I took that as if it were speaking to me directly.  Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  The same meaning goes for how I am with others.  If I am with them but not for them, they should cast me aside.  I don't want to be cast aside.  I want to be there.  I want to be for them, not just with them.

I know this seems sort of vague but if you know me and you know my priorities, you may be able to guess whom I am talking about.

Today is a new day.  Today I said, "I don't just need you, I want you." Now it's time for action.  It's a terrible feeling to hurt someone you love.  It's horrible to know that you caused them pain.

When I started reading personal development books, I expected to see how I needed to change my life to be more successful, to gain perspective of how others influence me and how I can move on.  I didn't expect to see it from a different perspective to see how I influence others and how they could move on, without me.

Life is such a bitch sometimes. The many twists and turns are not for the weak. In an instant, things can change and when they do, you have to think about what is truly important. What drives you, what makes you happy, what is your priority? The answers should come easy, and when they do come easy, so should expressing them.  Be of action, not just words.