For years, I stood in the shadow of everyone else. I am a wife of someone that everyone knows so I have always been his girlfriend or wife. I am a mom of three so I am always someone's mom. I am a sister so I am always someone's sister. I have never been me, just me.
As the kids are getting older and I am finding more time to find myself and who I am outside of the shadows, I am starting to like me. I am starting to find what makes me tick, what makes me angry and what makes me truly happy. I have found the brand new me. It's not so much that I am changing, I'd like to think that I am evolving into who I have always been. I have just been hidden.
I feel like I have always had the potential to be this person, but I wasn't allowing myself to open up to be who I am. I have always been taking care of everyone else. I have never put myself first. That has changed in some ways.
My husband has always supported me in anything that I have done. We discuss things and when I say I want to do something, he has my back. So all of the lyrics don't apply as I said. However, a lot of the times, I based what I wanted to do on what he was doing. I always put aside my desires for the sake of my husband or kids. I still do that but not all the time. I have to start putting myself first when I can.
My mantra has been, you are worth it. So, when I want something and I start to doubt myself, I repeat that phrase to reassure myself that it is okay.
I have been told by someone that loves me that I am different but it wasn't coming as a compliment. It came as more of an accusation. I am not doing bad things, I am not off getting into trouble or trying to be something I'm not. I am evolving into a different person in many ways but it is for the better.
Don't be mad, it's just a brand new kind of me
Can't be bad, I found a brand new kind of free
It took a long long time to get here
It took a brave, brave girl to try
If I talk a little louder
If I speak up when you're wrong
If I walk a little taller
I'd been under you too long
If you noticed that I'm different
Don't take it personallyThese lines resonate with me as I have always been the quiet one, the doormat to so many. I was the one that always said yes to everyone else, even if it meant I was putting myself last.
Hey hey hey, if you were a friend, you'd wanna get know me again
If you were worth the while
You'd be happy to see me smile
I'm not expecting sorry
I'm too busy finding myself
I got this
I found me, I found me, yeah
I'm happy I found me. Finally.